One of the things I love most about the holidays is getting together with family. But, what if just thinking about how to survive your relatives this holiday season is stressing you out? You’ve seen all the cute holiday movies where everyone gets together and treats everyone with love and respect. Your family get-togethers might not have that same Norman Rockwell feel.

If you would like to listen instead of reading enjoy the How to Survive Your Relatives this Holiday Season Facebook Live I did here:

Your mom still doesn’t get along with your husband. Your uncle still asks you to pull his finger. Your brother, the surgeon, still makes fun of your sensible shoes. Your family might have one or two long-standing situations involving two people who seem to mix like oil and water. You might even find yourself dreading your family get-together just because you know what’s going to happen: your brother, Mike, and your cousin, Eddy, will get into it about something. What can realistically be done to reduce these family tensions so that
everyone gets through the holiday without killing each other?

Strategies on How to Survive Your Relatives this Holiday Season

1. Have a game plan. Know which people and situations are likely to upset you. Attempt to avoid those situations and people whenever possible. Think about how you’ll deal with any negative emotions that you experience.

• Call a friend.
• Go for a walk.
• Go out for coffee.
• Listen to music.

2. Talk to one of the offending family members in advance. For
example, if your sister doesn’t get along with another family member, talk
to her before the get-together. Say something like, “I’ve noticed that you
and Kim don’t get along very well. What can be done to make things
easier for you at dinner on Saturday?”

‣ Even if she doesn’t come up with a suggestion, you’ve at least let your
sister know that people notice the exchanges and would like for them
to stop occurring. Your question might curb your sister’s behavior or
serve as a reminder for her to keep herself in check. And it only takes
one of them to stop the behaviors and calm the tension.

3. Keep people informed. As families grow larger, sometimes people feel
left out of the holiday planning. Use technology to let everyone know
what’s planned. Emails, text messages, and even Facebook can be used to
discuss this year’s holiday festivities. You can start a private event on Facebook and just invite your family members and everyone can chat in there.  If family members feel
they are communicated with equally, some tensions may be reduced.

4. Let go of the past. If you don’t have any long-standing negative feelings toward
anyone in your family, you’re in the minority. A few parents are great. A few
stink. Most of us had mediocre parents. There’s nothing you can do about the
past. You can either continue to be tormented by it or let it go. The choice is
yours.

5. Invite a friend along. Visiting your parents in your hometown? Invite an old
friend over for dinner. You have the benefit of moral support, and your family
will be less likely to misbehave around company.

6. Use decorative place cards to assign seats. If the group is large
enough, you might be able to place some distance between the two who
don’t get along well.

7. Play it cool. Imagine you’re a forest monk sitting on a platform in the trees. Your
job is to stay as serene as possible. No matter what your family throws at you,
you resolve to maintain your composure.

8. Step in to short-circuit the tension-filled exchange as soon as it
begins. Although it’s usually impolite to interrupt, have something on
your mind that you could ask one of the people when you notice the two are starting to debate. Lightly touch one’s elbow and say something like, “I just thought
of something I forgot to ask you. Did your friend, Sam get married?”

‣ You could also use a group-directed comment like, “Hey everybody!
Did you hear that our old neighbor, James, retired? I saw him at the
store last week.”

9. Don’t sweat the small stuff. Ignore small or insignificant snapping from
one person to another. If the snapping at one another doesn’t stop as
quickly as it began, then interrupt them as stated in #8.

10. Stay physically active. The local health club has a daily membership plan. Use it.
Or go for a jog. Even a walk can provide and emotional break and sooth your
nerves. Go out and do a few push-ups under a tree in the back yard.

11. Beware of self-medicating. A single drink might not be a bad idea, but four
could prove to be your undoing. You want to remember the time you spend with family; not completely wash it away with one too many drinks.

12. Take the high road. If someone is trying to get on your nerves on purpose, don’t let them have it. Avoid feeling the need to stick up for yourself. Just move onto a conversation to someone else or another topic. Once someone responds emotionally,
the entire interaction is bound to take an ugly turn. Value your sanity more than
your pride.

13. Pamper yourself afterwards. A makeover, massage, short vacation, or a nice
purchase is a way of being good to yourself after a tiring holiday season with
the family.

Hopefully, the holidays are an enjoyable time for you to spend with your family.  Don’t let the stress of thinking about how to survive your relatives this holiday season ruin your time. Use these strategies to to reduce tensions so you can stay stress free. Share a gif in the comments of what your family is like when getting together for the holidays.

Stress Free Holidays: How to Survive Your Relatives this Holiday Season is a part of a blog series. In case you want to check out the other parts in the Stress Free Holidays series here are the links to each part.

Stress Free Holidays -Holiday Traditions and Memories

Stress Free Holidays- 8 Simple Holiday Time Savers

Stress Free Holidays: Gift Giving the Stress Free Way

Stress Free Holidays: Survive the Holidays Without Blowing Your Budget

Stress Free Holidays: Stress Free Holiday Traveling