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Grief & Fitness

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Our furbaby Rocky of 5 years suddenly died on Friday night. We went out to let our dogs in and we just found him in a usual sleeping spot. He appeared to be sleeping and I so pray that is how easy he went.

At first I was so obsessed with finding out why. I don’t know if that is just part of the grieving process or just me. I’m such a teacher at heart and strive to find out about everything. My girls told me to stop. Finding out won’t bring him back and obsessing is not helping.

I think the hardest part is the feeling of guilt. Was there something I could have done to prevent it? Did he have a medical issue I didn’t know about? Did he get into something? If we would have went out there earlier could I have saved him? I also think about how I wish I would have spent more time with him this past month, week, and especially day. It just eats away at me!

I want to believe that his was for the best. That he did indeed just go to sleep. That if going on would have brought on more suffering. My mind just keeps slipping back to the what ifs though. How do you get over that?

The last few days I have NOT been working out all I could do was throw myself into things that kept my mind completely busy. Working out is not like that. I constantly “think” about things while I workout. Today I started back, but just started out with a babystep. I took a short walk and did yoga with a few bursts of upper body moves. I know it isn’t what will get me the maximum amount of results, but right now it is at least a step in the right direction. And it DID get me to thinking just like I thought it would, so that is why I decided to write about it. Maybe this will help but I don’t know. Just trying to find a way to deal.

Here are a few pictures of him we have found.

 

 

 

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